


Broken Home

by alycat



Category: Supernatural RPF
Genre: Alternate Universe, Angst, Hurt/Comfort, Infantilism, M/M, baby!Jensen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-03-23
Updated: 2013-03-23
Packaged: 2017-12-06 12:27:05
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 9,132
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/735619
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/alycat/pseuds/alycat
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Adopting an adult baby was supposed to fill the void in their lives, it was something both Jared and Jeff had been longing for and since they first saw Jensen they knew that he belonged with them. Neither of them had counted on old scars and fears to come to the surface and threaten everything they loved.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Broken Home

**Author's Note:**

> Original notes and warnings from LiveJournal:
> 
>  _Pairing, rating & kinks_: Jared/JDM + Jensen - R - emotional infantilism, h/c, angst, diapering  
> Written for [this](http://spnkink-meme.livejournal.com/68407.html?thread=22321463#t22321463) prompt found over at [](http://spnkink-meme.livejournal.com/profile)[**spnkink_meme**](http://spnkink-meme.livejournal.com/). A big thanks to my wonderful beta [](http://mistress-magda.livejournal.com/profile)[](http://mistress-magda.livejournal.com/)**mistress_magda** for always being willing to take on whatever I throw her way.  
>  There will be no sexual interactions with adult babies.

_It's cold._

_It's lonely._

_Somewhere in the darkness there are sounds he can't really understand and he wonders why he's there, wonders why he wasn't allowed to bring his soft blankets or the any of his toys. He's sure his Daddies are coming soon, though; they always do._

_He'll just have to wait a little bit longer._

_If only it wasn't so cold._

 

**_Now_ **

The house was silent and dark, the only light filling the room the soft glow from the nightlight plugged into the socket by the door but it was enough for Jared to make out the shape of the baby in the crib and he couldn't hold back his smile at the sight. Downstairs he heard the sounds of his husband moving around, most likely checking that all the doors and windows were secured for the night. But Jared stayed where he was, watching the sleeping boy in the crib. It was everything he and Jeff ever dreamed of and even though it had been a month Jared couldn't really wrap his mind around the fact that it actually was his life now.

He didn't turn around when he heard Jeff come up the stairs but he leaned back into the embrace when he felt strong arms wrap around his waist and a scruffy kiss pressed against his neck.

"He's sleeping?" Jeff asked, looking around Jared into the room.

"Yeah," Jared said softly, looking at their boy. "He looks so peaceful like this."

"We should get some sleep," Jeff said, taking a step back and taking Jared's hand in his, practically dragging him out of the nursery.

Jared looked back over his shoulder at the sleeping boy, taking in the way Jensen had one hand tucked beneath his pillow and he was smiling as he and Jeff made their way into their bedroom and Jared walked over to the bedside table to make sure the baby monitor was turned on.

"It's okay, Jay," Jeff said and Jared turned around to watch his husband strip down to his tight boxers. "He's asleep and we'll hear if he wakes up. Just like every night."

It wasn't like Jared didn't know that Jeff was right, and for the most part Jensen was a sound sleeper, but after a few instances of the boy waking up crying and shaking from obvious nightmares, Jared couldn't help but worry.

"We've had him for one month on Friday," Jeff said as Jared brushed his teeth and Jared couldn't do more than nod. "I think that calls for a celebration."

Jared spit out the foam and rinsed his mouth with water before turning towards Jeff with a smile on his lips, his gaze flickering over to the silent baby monitor by the bed.

"Does this mean I get to spoil him?" Jared asked, flicking off the light and following Jeff to their big bed, pushing the comforter to the side.

"Just a little," Jeff answered, smiling as they reached to turn off the bedside lamp

Jared allowed his husband to pull him in, fitting their bodies together and despite all the thoughts twisting around in his mind, Jared found that Jeff's closeness combined with the lack of sounds from Jensen's nursery lulled him into sleep and the last thought before sleep claimed him was of Jensen and how lucky he was to finally have the family he had been longing for.

-¤-

"Hey, baby, time to wake up."

Jared smiled when Jensen blinked and sleepily looked up at him, gaze still unfocused and he wasn't surprised when Jensen's green eyes drifted close again and he reached into the crib to stroke his fingers over a sleep-warm cheek.

"Come on now," Jared said with a laugh and he could feel Jeff's gaze on him from the doorway where his husband was watching.

Jensen wasn't very small, if he ever stood up he would be almost as tall as Jared was, but the boy barely had any muscles and despite his size Jared had no problems lifting the boy up once he had lowered the side railing of the crib. Even heavy with sleep Jensen's arms came up to wrap around Jared's neck and when Jared lowered him down on the changing table the boy didn't want to let go, clinging to him and Jared could tell that tears were just a few seconds away.

"I know, Jen," Jared said and pressed a kiss to the boy's cheek. "But I can't change the diaper if you won’t let me go. You wanna get changed, don't you?"

He felt Jensen's hands slowly release their grip on the collar of his shirt but he still reached for the pacifier and slid it between soft lips, just to be safe. Jensen's mouth sealed tight around it, sucking lazily and when Jared pulled off his pajamas Jensen only let out a small gurgling sound in protest, shivering slightly as the cooler air hit his skin.

"Here you go."

Jared smiled when Jeff handed him a fresh diaper, taking the pajamas away from him and folding them neatly before he put them under the pillow in the crib. It was part of their morning routine, and one month in they had it down to an art form. Jensen's gaze flickered back and forth between them and a small frown appeared on his face when Jared reached for the diaper.

"None of that," Jeff said sternly but there was a smile on his lips. "Now let Daddy change that diaper so we can go have some breakfast."

With Jensen distracted by Jeff, Jared made quick work of the diaper, disposing of it and Jensen let out a giggle when Jared wiped him clean and added lotion to rosy skin. It was something Jared had learned quickly, Jensen never looked at the one changing the diaper and the easiest way to get it done was for him or Jeff to distract the boy to avoid him causing a fuss.

"Almost done," Jared said, more to Jeff than to Jensen himself and he got the new diaper in place, making sure it sat comfortably around Jensen's hips. "There we go, all ready for the day."

It wasn't exactly true: Jensen couldn't walk around in just diapers after all, but it was enough for Jensen to turn his face towards Jared and raise his arms up in an obvious pleading for a hug, something that Jared was more than willing to grant him. Together he and Jeff got their baby boy dressed in his favorite pair of soft grey sweatpants with stars and rainbows on them as well as a simple grey t-shirt before Jeff lifted Jensen up in his arms to carry him downstairs. While Jeff didn't pack quite the amount of muscles that Jared did, he could carry Jensen around without too much problem and something inside Jared warmed at the sight of his husband pressing a kiss to the top of Jensen's head as they moved out of the nursery.

-¤-

Jeff watched as Jared took the seat next to Jensen's high chair and raised a spoon towards the boy's lips and he smiled when Jensen willingly opened his mouth to let the spoon in. It seemed to be one of Jensen's good days and for that he was eternally grateful. He loved the kid just as much on his bad days, but they always left Jensen emotionally exhausted and that wasn't something that Jeff liked to see happen. It was much easier on days like this, days when Jensen happily ate the food they put in front of him and when green eyes glittered with happiness.

On days like that, life was pretty damn close to perfect.

When Jared put the spoon down in Jensen's little bowl and wiped the boy's mouth clean, Jeff walked over to help Jared get their son down on the floor before he poured the both of them some coffee and put the toaster on the middle of the table. It was a hard thing taking his eyes off Jensen as the boy crawled his way over to the corner where a soft blanket was spread out, several toys strewn out on top of it and when he looked over to Jared he saw that his husband was watching Jensen as well, awe written clearly on his face.

"I wonder if there'll ever be a day when I'm not amazed he's ours," Jared said quietly as they started in on their own breakfast.

"Probably not," Jeff said with a smile, leaning in for a coffee-flavored kiss.

Having a baby in their life was something they had dreamed of for so long, but neither the normal adoption agency nor the one for adult babies were a quick and easy progress and there had been times when the both of them had almost given up.

**_Then_ **

_More forms to fill out, more requirements to fulfil and Jeff just didn't know how to get through it all with his sanity intact. It seemed to be the same for Jared and Jeff could tell that the stress of it all was getting to his husband: the man's usually so bright paintings had turned darker, a chaos to them that had never been there before._

_"They'll be here soon, Jeff," Jared said, shifting nervously on the couch. "Are you sure we haven't forgotten anything? Is the place child safe? You know it has to be. What if I left some paint out, shouldn't I go check?"_

_Had not the same thoughts been running through his own mind Jeff might have snapped at Jared, instead he just continued to pace nervously across the living room floor, just wishing that the social workers would arrive already and tell them that their home was fit for children._

_"It'll be fine," Jeff said with a firm nod. "Our new house is amazing, they have to approve it."_

_The words were said as much to comfort Jared as they were to convince himself. They had already been rejected once in their old apartment that, while being big and nicely furnished, had been situated a mere block from the party district of the city. No words of soundproofing had swayed the social worker their way and the both of them had despaired at that moment._

_But in a new house, on a big private property, Jeff couldn't imagine them getting a no again. It just wasn't an option, not again._

 

_**Now** _

Jensen was busy playing with his toys and Jeff didn't want to disturb him. He could hear the water running in the upstairs bathroom and he knew that Jared was not likely to come back out from the cloud of steam for another twenty minutes, if not more. With one quick look at Jensen he moved out into the living room and crossed it towards the door to his office but before he could reach that far he heard a terrified little sound from the kitchen and the next moment Jensen was crying. Jeff spun around, almost tripping over their big couch in his hurry to get back to Jensen to see what had happened and when he got back into the kitchen he saw the boy curled up in the corner, face in his hands as his whole body was shaking with the fore of his crying.

"Jensen, baby, what's up?" Jeff asked as he fell to his knees beside the boy on the blanket.

Usually the boy would take any chance for a hug but what had seemed to be a good day had obviously turned bad as Jensen turned away from him and let out a high-pitched wail. There was no surprise even Jared could hear the loud sound and Jeff soon heard his husband coming down the stairs and when he entered the kitchen he was dressed in sweatpants that clung to his still-wet skin and a towel was draped over his shoulders.

"Jeff? Jensen? What happened?" Jared asked, worry evident in his voice.

"I don't know," Jeff said, pulling Jensen into a hug that did nothing to make the boy stop his violent sobs. "I just went over to my office to grab a few folders and sit down to read while he played and he just...freaked out. I wasn't even gone for a minute, I swear."

The both of them tried to calm Jensen done but no huge or soothing touches calmed him down even though he went from shying away from them to clinging desperately to them, tears streaming down his cheeks.

"Daddy," Jensen whimpered. "Papa."

Each time either of them attempted to pull back in the slightest, the flow of tears intensified and Jensen sobbed too hard to get a single word out and Jeff knew that he wouldn't be able to focus on his work at all and he doubted that Jared would either. Carefully they managed to get the sobbing boy up from the floor and carried him into the den where they sat down on either side of him on the comfortable couch. Considering how distraught Jensen was, Jeff wasn't surprised when the boy cried himself to sleep, small hiccuping sobs escaping him even in sleep.

"I've never seen him this bad before," Jared said with a sigh. "How are we supposed to help him when we don't know what's causing it?"

"I don't know," Jeff said with a sigh. "We could...get someone to talk to him but you know he doesn't really talk, not part from a few words."

While Jensen's body was that of a twenty year-old, and while he had lived eighteen years outside of the system, the boy hadn't spoken a full sentence since the day he signed himself up for adoption and of all the boys and girls that he and Jeff had met at the agency, Jensen was the most childlike of them all. Apart from calling out for him and Jared, Jensen did very seldom speak but Jeff was getting desperate to help their little boy.

"Maybe it's just a settling in phase?" Jared said with a sighed, reaching across Jensen to tangle his fingers with Jeff's.

"Maybe," Jeff said softly, but he had his doubts.

-¤-  
-¤-

Jensen refused to move away from them, instead he sat cross-legged beside their bench, looking over to the playground on the other side of the narrow walkway, his hands clenched tight around his favorite stuffed toy.

"Why don't you go over there?" Jared asked, reaching down to ruffle Jensen's hair.

The boy pouted and slapped Jared's hand away, scowling up at him but he didn't move, instead he scooted closer and raised his hands up, asking to be lifted up.

"I don't think he'll play with the others," Jeff pointed out as Jared helped Jensen up on the bench between them. "Will you, baby?"

Jensen mumbled a barely audible _no_ and pressed the stuffed little penguin closer to his chest but he did seem content, nestled up between them and the little smile on his lips was enough to brighten Jared's day, the crying of the previous day still lingering in the back of his mind but for now, Jensen was happy.

"What if we come with you?" Jeff asked, pressing fingers against Jensen's ticklish side and the boy giggled happily. "We could spend some time on the swings?"

White teeth bit down into Jensen's lower lip and Jared could practically see the wheels turning inside Jensen's head as he thought about that offer for a long moment, looking back and forth between them and then he nodded before sliding down on the ground, crawling a few steps before he looked back and hesitated when he saw that Jared and Jeff hadn't gotten up yet. His eyes widened and Jared saw the tell-tale wobble of his lower lip but what really got to him was the sudden fear in Jensen's eyes. He and Jeff moved as one, quickly grabbing their nursing bag before they both quickly closed the distance to Jensen.

"We're here," Jeff said and Jared could feel the way his husbands hand clenched Jared's tightly. "We're just here, baby. We'll go over there and play on the swings, yeah? Wanna play on the swings?"

There seemed to be hesitation there, lingering in the air around Jensen but he could see the very moment the boy relaxed and turned around to continue his crawl towards the swing. He still looked back every few steps, like he was making sure that his daddies were right there with him.

"Come now, up we go," Jared said, hoisting Jensen up on the air and placing him in the swing, making sure he was secure before he and Jeff took their places to be able to swing him high in the air.

When a peal of laughter left Jensen, Jared felt like he himself was soaring even higher.

 

_**Then** _

_Jared watched the babies playing out in the fresh air, some of them with their heads close together and Jared could see their lips moving as they whispered secrets to each other. One boy didn't whisper, in fact he didn't stay close to any of the other babies, instead keeping a careful eye on the nursing staff, shifting when they did and Jared couldn't take his eyes off the boy._

_"Who's he?" Jared asked, nodding towards the sandy-haired boy._

_"Who? Oh, Jensen," the social worker showing them around the adoption agency said with a smile. "That's Jensen Ackles. Or was I guess. He's just Jensen now, does not like it when you mention his surname at all."_

_"You think he might be the one?" Jeff asked, wrapping a strong arm around Jared's waist._

_"No. Yes. Maybe?" Jared said, leaning into the touch. "There's just something about him. Can we meet him?"_

_"Of course," Mrs, Langley said with a smile. "He's....he's a wonderful boy, a bit shy but...wonderful."_

_Some thirty minutes later Jensen had wormed his way into both their hearts and both Jared and Jeff knew that they needed to make Jensen, with his shy smiles and intelligent green eyes, a part of their lives._

 

_**Now** _

Jeff listened to the sound of Jared's pencil moving over his sketch pad. That combined with the sound of Jensen playing with his toys made his day absolutely perfect and he was glad he had a job where he could work from home, spending long hours working in the sun while he was watching his little family. Jensen sat in the grass, toys spread out wide around him and every now and then he called out for them to watch as he played around and Jeff was happy that the boy's shorts and t-shirt was worn with use because they were both covered with grass and dirt stains.

"Daddy!" Jensen called out and Jeff smiled when he saw Jared put the pencil away and walk over to kneel down beside Jensen to look at the farm he was building.

"That's really good, Jen," Jared said proudly. "I'm sure Papa wanna see as well."

"Papa!" Jensen said, looking over to Jeff and Jeff knew that he wouldn't get much more work done, not when Jensen was looking at him with pleading eyes.

He willingly put his papers away, putting a glass on them to make sure they didn't blow away before he walked over to sit down beside his husband and son. Jensen's little farmyard was perfect and Jeff knew he shouldn't be surprised by Jensen's skill, not when the boy in fact was twenty, a full eighteen years older than he usually acted like.

When they had first decided to adopt, and later when they had found Jensen and made him a part of their lives, Jeff had never expected to love their playtimes but when Jensen smiled up at him, glowing with happiness, there was nowhere on earth Jeff would rather be than on his knees on the grass, playing with his family.

-¤-

Jared was in the shower and Jeff leaned against the doorframe, watching the water painting his husband’s body, making it glisten in the overhead lights. A part of Jeff wanted to walk in to join him, but instead he took a step back and made his way to the nursery, making sure that Jensen slept.

His boy was on his belly, the padded curve of his butt pushed up slightly under the baby blue blanket and Jeff walked closer, tucking him securely and smiling when Jensen let out a low snuffling sound, tugging his bear closer but when Jeff reached down to stroke one cheek, the boy turned into the touch even in sleep and Jeff felt his heart melt at the obvious show of trust.

"I love you, kiddo," he mumbled, taking a step back. "Jared is the love of my life, but you, baby boy? You make us complete."

Another little sound left Jensen's lips but he didn't wake up and Jeff made his way back towards the master bedroom, not hearing the sound of the shower any longer but even so he hadn't expected the view that met him when he stepped inside the bedroom. Jared lay stretched out on the middle of the bed, naked body dried off and Jeff felt his mouth go dry. He loved their new life, loved having Jensen in their lives and it wasn't until that moment that he realized that they hadn't fucked since they had brought Jensen home and in that moment he _wanted_ Jared. Wanted him naked and tight, writhing at the end of his cock.

"Jesus...Jay..." Jeff groaned, pushing the door closed behind him, staring at his husband

"He's asleep, isn't he?" Jared asked, nodding towards the baby monitor.

It was then that Jeff realized that Jared had heard what Jeff had said to their sleeping son, the love he had proclaimed to both the baby and his husband and he wondered if that was why he had Jared in front of him now.

"You heard that," Jeff said with a smile, unbuttoning his shirt without taking his eyes off Jared.

"I did, now get over here, "Jared answered with a smile on his lips and that was an invitation Jeff wasn\t able to say no to.

His clothes fell to the ground in a soft rustle of fabric and he closed the distance between them, stretching out beside Jared on their big bed and they moved together as one, slotting bodies and lips together and Jeff groaned when he felt skin on skin and Jared's tongue tangling with his own.

With his kid asleep down the hall, and his husband naked against him, life felt pretty damn good.

-¤-  
-¤-

"Bathing time!" Jared called out, trying to put as much joy and eagerness as possible in his voice as he smiled at Jensen.

It was all for nothing though and as usual Jensen's face fell at the mention of the bath, something that no toys or careful cheering up seemed to put a stop to. Jared wished their son would talk to them, that Jensen could tell them why his baths were such a hated thing but all he got was a trembling lower lip and green eyes that fell away as the boy stared down at the floor.

"No, c'mon baby," Jared pleaded. "Bathing is fun, we just need to get you out of your clothes and your diaper first, don't we?"

Jensen nodded and he didn't struggle when Jared lifted him up, but there was no warm arms wrapping around his neck either, no brilliant smile or soft giggle that usually came when Jared carried Jensen around, instead the boy lay unmoving in his arms and Jared didn't miss the worried look on Jeff's face as Jared walked past where his husband was sitting on the couch.

"You're okay on your own?" Jeff asked, putting down the heavy book he had been reading.

"We're fine, aren't we, Jen?" Jared said, pressing a kiss to Jensen's forehead.

He didn't expect Jensen to answer in any way but yet a part of him felt disappointed when the boy hid his face against his neck, no sound spilling from his lips. Jared hated bath time, maybe almost as much as Jensen did. The sadness in his little boy was too much to take, but with Jensen having been playing outside for hours, a bath was very much needed.

Entering the nursery, Jared put Jensen down on the changing table before he went into the bathroom to get the water running, twisting the knobs until he was sure he had the right temperature for Jensen and when he returned back to Jensen's room, the boy was sitting just where he had left him,the only difference was the thumb lodged between pink lips. It wasn't often that Jensen sucked his thumb, in fact it seemed to only happen when the boy was upset, and Jared choose to not comment on it, instead getting Jensen out of his grass-stained clothes.

"Daddy," Jensen mumbled around the thumb in his mouth and Jared leaned in to press a kiss to Jensen's cheek before he shifted Jensen until the boy was resting on his back, dressed only in his diaper.

"You know you make me and Papa Jeff very happy, right?" Jared said softly, reaching down to open up the diaper and slowly slide it down as Jensen held his legs up. "Having you in our lives, it's amazing and I'm so happy that you wanted to be our baby boy."

Jensen blinked up at him, eyes wide and slightly wet and his plush lips still wrapped around his thumb, sucking rhythmically and Jared kept up talking softly to the boy as he wiped him clean, rubbing his fingers over the red marks the diaper had left on Jensen's skin.

"All ready for that bath now," Jared said, lifting Jensen up once more.

The boy didn't move much, just rested limply in Jared's arms until they entered the bathroom and then Jensen started struggling, trying to get away.

"No, no, baby," Jared said soothingly, stroking over Jensen's soft hair. "It's nothing dangerous, I promise. I'll be right here with you. It's just a little bath, we need to get you cleaned up and ready for bed. Don't you want to be all clean? I'm sure we can get Papa to read for you, whatever you want him to read."

Jensen trembled in his arms and tears fell down his cheeks when Jared carefully lowered him down into the warm water and his arms ached when he the boy situated in the tub. It wasn't an easy thing, carrying Jensen around, but nothing compared to the feel of his son in his arms and Jared gladly carried him around, aching muscles be damned.

"Daddy, please," Jensen whimpered, reaching up to wrap his arms around Jared's neck, trying to get out of the bath. "Daddy!"

The heart wrenching sobs made Jared want to lift Jensen up again, made him want to tell the boy that he never had to take a bath ever again but instead he forced himself to carefully hold Jensen in place as he dragged a soft washcloth over Jensen's skin before he took shampoo and lathered it into the boy's hair. Jensen squeezed his eyes shut, low whimpers leaving his lips and he was shaking like a leaf by the time Jared reached for the shower head and rinsed Jensen's hair clean.

"I'm so sorry," Jared mumbled, helping Jensen out of the tub and wrapping him in the biggest towel he could find, rubbing him with it until his skin was pink and his hair ruffled and messy. "I know you hate it, god, I hate it as well. I never meant to hurt you, baby. My precious little boy, I'm so proud of you."

"We both are."

Both Jared and Jensen jumped slightly before they turned to the door and saw Jeff stand there, a warm smile on his lips as he took in Jensen wrapped in his towel, and Jared soaked in water from the bath.

"How about I read you a story, you want that, Jen?"

Jensen looked back and forth between them, his thumb fitted into his mouth once more but the flow of tears had stopped and when Jeff walked closer, Jensen managed to get his arms free from the towel and reach towards Jeff in a plea to be lifted up. It wasn't as easy for Jeff to lift Jensen up as it was for Jared, but he wasn't surprised when he saw his husband take a deep breath and get Jensen up into his arms, still wrapped in the warm towel.

"Let's just get you into your pajamas and into bed, okay, kiddo?" Jeff said as he carried Jensen back to the nursery.

Jared kept back, standing in the doorway and watching as Jeff carefully toweled Jensen off and got him up on the table, his pink skin pebbling slightly as Jeff rubbed diaper cream into his skin and Jensen's gaze fell away, facing the wall as always and he sucked his thumb back into his mouth. The crinkling of the diaper was loud in the otherwise silent room, only other sound that of Jensen's slow sucking on the digit and Jared smiled at the domestic scene in front of him.

"Can you give me his onesie?" Jeff asked, looking over his shoulder to Jared.

"Green one?" Jared asked Jensen, the boy facing them once more and he smiled when he saw Jensen relaxed once more, the stress of his bath all but forgotten.

Getting Jensen dressed, Jared lifted him up and he and Jeff took their boy into their own bedroom, letting him curl up in the middle of the bed and Jared made himself comfortable beside Jensen, pressing a soft kiss to the top of his head as Jeff settled down beside him, storybook in hand.

" _King Thrushbeard_ or _Snow-White and Rose-Red_?"

"One day he'll have nightmares from the stories you read to him," Jared said with a smile, settling in for some time with his family and the Grimm brothers.

-¤-  
-¤-

"You do realize we need to do something about it?" Jeff asked quietly once Jensen was sound asleep between them. "His freakouts are getting worse, not better and I don't even know what he's scared about."

Jared nodded and looked down at their son, so much love and tenderness in his eyes that it made Jeff's heart swell with emotion.

"I know," Jared agree. "That's why I have booked us a meeting with the people at the adoption agency. We got an appointment on Thursday."

Jeff nodded and reached across Jensen's sleeping form to tangle his fingers with Jared's and they drifted off to sleep like that, keeping Jensen safe between them.

-¤-

Jeff had never seen Jensen as frantic as he was when they pulled into a free parking spot in front of the adoption agency. He wasn't crying but his whole body was shaking with tremors and his thumb was firmly lodged between his lips but it wasn't until they lifted him out of the car the the emotions in his face turned to pure terror.

"Daddy? Papa?" Jensen whimpered. "No. Please, no. No. _No_.

"Jeff," Jared said quietly, voice full of despair.

"We need to know," Jeff said, the words had become a mantra to him over the last few days but in that moment he knew that they both hesitated.

"We're hurting him," Jared said, holding Jensen even closer, letting the boy hide his face against his neck.

"We need answers if we ever hope to help him," Jeff said, walking closer to give his husband and son a hug. "Please, Jen, we're just trying to help you."

"No, no, no," Jensen mumbled, his voice turning wet with the sobs he was clearly trying to keep down.

Jared carried the sobbing boy inside and Jeff followed them, wondering not for the first time if maybe they should have tried to find a babysitter for Jensen but something had stopped them. Whatever they would find out inside the agency, Jensen deserved to be a part of it. Besides, with the mood Jensen had been in the last few days, neither of them was prepared to leave him behind.

Their footsteps sounded hollow against the stone floors and even though Jeff knew that the room for the kids were soundproofed, he couldn't help but think that the silence was eerie in a place like that. An adoption agency should have the sounds of laughter and children playing, but that was seldom the case when it came to the places for adult babies; a lot of them were much more subdued than their younger counterparts.

"Time for answers," Jeff said as they reached the right door and he pushed it open, stepping to the side to let Jared carry Jensen inside.

"Mr. Morgan, Mr. Padalecki-Morgan," the men behind the desk said, standing up to greet them.

"Mr. Sheppard," Jeff said with a nod, taking his side beside Jared on the couch in the corner, Jensen seated on his husbands lap. "I think we need some answers."

"I think you do," Sheppard said with a sigh and he sat down in an armchair in front of them. "And I need to start with asking forgiveness for this all. We decided to not tell you everything, scared that it might change your thoughts about adopting Jensen. He deserves parents like you."

Jeff frowned at that and looking over to Jared he could see the same confusion on his face but he also noticed that Jensen had stopped crying and shaking, instead he sat frozen on Jared's lap, yet each part of him was radiating misery.

"Nothing can change what we feel for Jensen," Jeff said firmly, moving closer to Jared. "Tell us."

For a few long moments the only sound in the room was that of Jensen's trembling breathing and the soft sound of Jared rubbing soothing circles over the boy's back.

"Jensen came here when he was eighteen," Sheppard said with his eyes on the boy. "His family died in a fire, he was the only survivor."

Jeff was sure that jensen could hear each word, that he understood everything that was said about him but he didn't show it in any way, didn't move a muscle as Sheppard spoke about him. Jared however did move, his eyes sliding shut as he leaned in to breathe a kiss into Jensen's hair and Jeff moved even closer, wrapping an arm around his husband’s shoulder.

"Did he...see..." Jared asked quietly.

"Yes. He saw everything and...he dealt. But when he came here, we offered him something else. It's what we do. We're not here to indulge people's kinks. This agency was set up to offer a family to those in desperate need of one, a safe haven for those that want to return to a time and place where they were taken care of. When they were happy."

It was much more than Jeff had ever expected to find out but something told him that it was far from everything, something with the way Sheppard were watching Jensen with so much regret in his eyes, but he didn't as much as look at Jeff and Jared and Jeff could only wait for him to keep on talking.

"Jensen was adopted once before," Sheppard admitted and it was enough to make both Jared and Jeff look up in surprise, staring at the man.

"And you didn't think we needed to know that?" Jeff asked, fury lacing his words.

"Like I said, we thought it might change your mind..."

"If he was adopted, why was he back here?" Jared interrupted, tugging Jensen even closer.

Jeff wondered how much more he could take, how much worse things could be and still leave them with a chance to put Jensen back together again.

"Six months after the adoption went through, we did a check-in and all was well. Jensen was happy, it seemed like he was loved and like had made a life for himself. He was part of a family and the two men that adopted him were...they were so good with him and he trusted them."

"They died?" Jeff asked, it was the only thing he could think about to make something like that fall apart.

"No," Sheppard said quietly. "One day in October last year, we found Jensen on the steps one morning. They just left him there, with a note saying that they didn't need him, because they had found a surrogate. The would have a child of their own so they...returned Jensen."

Jeff could only stare at the man, slack-jawed, and when he looked over to Jared he saw the same look on his husbands face and they both wrapped their arms around Jensen, holding him close but there was no response in the boy, no proof that he was aware of them at all.

"They just abandoned him?" Jared said in a strangled tone.

"From what we could find out, they gave him his evening bath, put him in his best clothes and drove him here. And then they went home to start a new family, never looking back."

"He hates bath time," Jared said weakly. "He thinks we're...oh God."

Jeff couldn't even get words out, he just held his family close as he tried to make sense of how anyone could treat someone like Jensen like that. How anyone could throw him away like he was worth nothing, when he was one of the best things that had ever happened to Jeff.

-¤-  
-¤-

"The agency understands if this...changes things," Mr. Sheppard said, standing up from the armchair and walking a few steps away. "My boss is prepared to..."

"No," Jared said firmly, cutting him off. "This changes nothing. He's our _son_ and we love him. We will always love him."

He knew that the man had been about to offer them to return Jensen, to leave him behind as if he was a broken toy, but when Sheppard turned back to them there was a small smile on his lips. Walking over to his desk he picked up a heavy folder, walking over to them and placing it on the table in front of them.

"This is Jensen's complete file," he explained. "I'm very happy you feel the way you do about him. I know some people here sees him as...broken. But we know he isn't, don't we? I spoke up for you when you wanted to adopt him, and I'm sorry we didn't tell you everything, I'm truly sorry if my silence have brought Jensen pain in any way. This was never my intention."  
"I think we wanna bring our son home now," Jeff said, releasing his grip on Jared and standing up.

Jared stood up as well, Jensen still in his arm but the boy remained unmoving and Jared could feel dread settle deep inside him. He pressed a kiss to Jensen's temple and shifted his grip on him, making sure there was no risk of him dropping the boy and he made his way towards the door without another word. He heard Jeff grab the folder and trade a few words with Mr. Sheppard but he didn't stay to listen to it, much too focused on getting Jensen back home. It was impossible for him to even imagine what Jensen had been through but he knew enough to understand the pain it must cause him to be back at the agency.

"You must have been so scared," he mumbled. "Did you think we came back here to leave you? You did, didn't you? Oh baby, I'm so sorry. We would never do that."

"You're family, Jensen," Jeff's voice added. "And you're never coming back here, never."

Jensen didn't move, didn't react to the words in any way and Jared saw his own worry mirrored in Jeff's gaze. Bringing Jensen back to the agency had been a terrible idea and Jared would have done anything to be able to turn back time and get a do-over. Instead all he could do was bring their son home and work on bringing him back. He had to make Jensen see how much they loved him.

-¤-

"How's he doing?" Jared asked as he came into the living room, hair still wet from his shower and he was dressed in pajama pants and a soft t-shirt.

Jeff looked up from where he was sitting on the couch, Jensen pressed close to him but the boy was not responding to their voices, instead sitting still the same way he had for the last two days. Not even baths were enough to pull him out of the catatonic state he was in and Jared knew he wasn't the only one starting to despair.

"We've been watching Disney Channel," Jeff said, wrapping an arm around Jensen's shoulders. "Ain't that right, baby?"

"I'm sure he liked that," Jared said with a smile, keeping up the charade of Jensen actually listening to them, being an active part of their lives. "Nothing can go wrong with Rescue Rangers."

He reached down to lift Jensen up, carrying the boy up the stairs and to the nursery but when he stripped Jensen down to his diapers, there was none of the usual shyness, no hiding. Jensen didn't need to hide, not when he wasn't fully there anyway and his eyes was dull, unfocused as Jared wiped him clean and rubbed ointment into his skin.

"Almost done, baby," Jared said softly, insistently talking to Jensen even if he wasn't sure the boy was actually listening to a word he said. "We've moved your crib into our bedroom. We want you close to us but you need to sleep in your own bed. Think you can do that for us?"

Jensen's didn't respond, but Jared felt a surge of hope when the boy lifted his hand and for the first time since they had taken him back home, the boy sucked his thumb in between plush lips. It wasn't much, but it was the best they had gotten for days, the first time Jensen had shown any reaction at all. Putting the new diaper in place, Jared pulled a t-shirt over Jensen's head before he lifted the boy up and carried him into the bedroom and put him down in the crib that he had moved in there earlier.

"This is the farthest you will be from us," Jared said softly, running his fingers through Jensen's hair. "I know you don't believe us, but we do love you. We're never giving up on you."

"Just listen to your Daddy," Jeff said, walking up behind Jared and wrapping his arms around Jared's waist.

With his thumb still in his mouth, Jensen's eyes slid shut and even though it was obvious Jensen wasn't asleep Jared knew that they wouldn't get anything out of him and with a sigh he turned around and followed Jeff into bed, fitting their bodies together and for a few moments he allowed himself to trace soft kisses with his husband before he rested his head on Jeff's shoulder.

"I don't know how we'll get him back to us," Jared said quietly, wondering if Jensen was listening to them.

"There's only one thing we can do," Jeff said, wrapping one arm around Jared's waist while the other rested on his hip. "We can love him, and show him that we're not gonna be like them. Damn, I just can't understand how..."

Jared shook his head, it was the only answer he could give because he couldn't understand it any more than Jeff could. To abandon Jensen was something he couldn't even imagining, and he had only had the boy in his life for a short time but while he and Jeff had been happy before they adopted Jensen, nothing could compare to having Jensen in their lives

-¤-

"Isn't he a bit heavy to have on your lap for most of the day?" Jeff asked as he sat down beside Jared on the patio, looking over to where Jensen sat cradled in Jared's arms.

Jared put down the book he had been reading, instead focusing on his husband and trying to not think about the fact that Jensen hadn't reacted to Jeff coming home.

"Like you don't have him on your lap each time you're watching a movie?" Jared said with a smile, tilting his head towards Jeff and he wasn't surprised when his husband leaned closer to press a soft kiss to his lips before he turned to press another one to the top of Jensen's head.

"Gotten any work done today?" Jeff asked, leaning back into his own chair but not before stealing Jared's glass of ice tea from the small patio table.

"Some," Jared said with a smile, hugging Jensen closer. "Jensen was napping and...well, he wasn't fussy before nap either so I got quite a bit of drawing done. I know I'll have the commission done in time."

Neither of them pointed out that Jensen never fussed, not since they had brought him back home from the agency. There wasn't much Jared wouldn't do for such a simple thing as Jensen throwing a temper tantrum, he would welcome it with joy.

"I have something for him, should I bring it?" Jeff said with a smile.

"Oh, you got it?" Jared said with a wide smile, knowing full well what Jeff was talking about.

It was something they had talked about in late nights when Jensen had drifted off to sleep, whispered words into the darkness of their bedroom, desperate ways to find a way to put their boy back together again.

"I did, and I think you'll love it, Jen."

Jared loved the way Jeff kept on talking to Jensen, never acting like he was aware of the fact that the boy was still catatonic, never showing how much it affected the both of them. He shifted Jensen on his lap while Jeff made his way back into the house only to come back out with a small basket in his arms and Jared saw it shake slightly as something moved inside it.

"Here we go, Jen," Jeff said quietly, kneeling down in beside the chair Jared was settled into. "It's up to Jared and I to take care of you, but this little guy? He's for you to take care of. He was the runt of the litter, and no one wanted him but we did. We wanted him to be a part of our little family, just like we want you to be a part of it. You _are_ a part of our family, always, Jensen. We love you so much."

With that he lifted up a small puppy from the basket, one that was nothing more than a handful of soft brown and golden fur, tufty ears and a wet nose. Lifting up the puppy to Jensen's face, Jeff smiled when the small pup wriggled in his grip, trying to get closer to the boy and Jared mirrored his husband’s smile when a wet tongue tongue licked over Jensen's face as a short tail wagged eagerly back and forth.

Despite the fact that Jensen remained as still as he had been lately, Jared felt hope rise inside him at the way the small puppy seemed to fall in instant love with Jensen.

-¤-  
-¤-

Jeff watched where Jensen was on his belly on the blanket on the floor, his padded bottom hidden under the soft fabric of his onesie and the small dog pressed up against his side. In the days since he had taken the dog home, the little puppy never strayed far from Jensen's side, obviously not caring that the boy hadn't shown any signs of even noticing the new addition to their family.

He wasn't sure if it was just his own imagination, but he liked to think that there was a new light in Jensen's eye, that maybe he had slowly started to notice the world around him once more. Probably it was just his hopeful thinking, but hope was the only thing he had left when it came to his son, and nothing would ever make him give up on Jensen.

"Shouldn't we name the pup?"

Jeff looked back over his shoulder to where his husband was working on the dinner, the wonderful scent of pancakes filling the kitchen and slowly but surely spreading out through the entire house.

"I think Jensen should get to do that," Jeff said quietly, looking back over to where the dog just managed to jump up on Jensen's back, tail wagging back and forth as he climbed up Jensen's back until he almost fell over Jensen's shoulder.

"Yeah," Jared said, voice so low it was barely audible over the sizzling of the hot pan. "That would be amazing."

Jeff turned away from the image of the two on the floor and he was just about to start talk about something else,let the both of them focus for just a few minutes on something that wasn't the almost blind hope of Jensen starting to heal but before he could say anything there was a sound from behind him that made both him and Jared spin around.

It wasn't more than a gurgling sound, a barely there laughter that sounded raw and unsure but it _was_ a laugh and when they looked at the boy he had turned his face to press a soft kiss to a wet nose.

"Jen," Jared said and there was so much emotion in his voice, pain and hope tangled together.

It was too much for Jeff to even be able to get a word out, instead he sank to his knees on the middle of the kitchen floor. Jensen wasn't laughing anymore, there was barely any emotions on his face, but he had moved, he had shown signs of improving for the first time in weeks and Jeff didn't care if it took weeks or months to get him back again because at least now he knew that _his_ Jensen was still in there.

-¤-

The ball came rolling over the kitchen floor, bumping against Jeff's foot before the little puppy came running after it, paws sliding over the floor before he crashed against Jeff in her wild attempts to get to the ball and it took a few moments for Jeff's mind to catch up with what was happening. For a moment he thought it was just the small dog playing, but then he looked over to where Jensen had been resting on the couch and his breath caught in his throat when he saw that Jensen had slid down on the floor, one of the puppy's toys in one hand and the other stretched out in front of him, like he had just rolled the ball away for the pup to catch.

"He likes playing with you," Jeff said, trying to keep his emotions from showing in his voice, all too worried to shatter what fragile equilibrium Jensen was slowly building up.

Jensen's gaze flickered up to him, not lingering but there was a flicker of green that made Jeff's spirit soar and he forced himself to return to the sandwiches he had been preparing, hoping that Jensen would continue the play if left to himself. He saw the puppy struggling to get his small jaws around the ball but he managed to get it back to the boy on the floor and the two of them kept playing quietly, Jensen rolling the ball over the floor time and time again until the dog flopped down on the floor next to the couch, obviously exhausted. Jeff finished eating his simple lunch, enjoying the sandwich combined with a few crispy chips and he tried to not sneak too many glances over towards his boy but it was a hard thing to do when the small scene was everything he had been hoping for.

He walked over to Jensen once the two were done playing, the boy's gaze still firmly locked on the pup and Jeff allowed himself to run his hands through Jensen's soft hair, taking in the way it curled slightly around his ears and to his surprise Jensen actually turned into the touch, turning his face up into Jeff's hand.

-¤-  
-¤-

Jared stopped in his tracks as he took in the image in front of him; his husband kneeling on the floor next to a sleeping pup and Jensen turning into Jeff's tender touch. It was everything that Jared had hope to get to see, the first proof that Jensen actually was aware of them and not only the dog that had so slowly managed to pull him back from the brink.

"Hey," Jared said quietly, crossing the distance over to his family and he smiled when the small pup lifted his head up off the floor but didn't move more than that. "Someone's tired."

"They've been playing," Jeff explained, sitting down next to Jensen and Jared lifted the puppy up on his lap before he settled in on Jensen's other side, lifting one arm to wrap it around Jensen's shoulders.

"Good," Jared said, smiling when Jeff reached up to tangle their fingers together. "Maybe soon our little pup will get a name."  
He looked down to see Jensen still clutching the ball Jared guessed he had been throwing to the puppy earlier, grip tight enough for his knuckles to turn white and Jared wanted to say something to make him relax but all he did was lean in to press a soft kiss to Jensen's temple.

"I'm sure you'll find a good name for him, right baby?" Jared said even though he was sure Jensen wouldn't answer.

To his surprise Jensen let go of the ball, letting it drop to the floor before he reached to push his hand into Jared's free one and Jared's eyes went wide as he looked between Jensen and then up to his husband.

"Welcome back, Jen," Jared said softly. "We've missed you and we love you."

"Welcome back," Jeff echoed, his hand squeezing Jared's almost painfully tight.

Jensen didn't say anything else but each time Jared leaned in to press a kiss against soft hair, the boy turned into the touch and he had one hand slowly stroking through the pup's fur.

Jensen was far from healed and Jared swore that he would never stop showing Jensen how much the boy meant to him, to prove that they would never leave Jensen but at least now he knew that Jensen was back with them.

He and Jeff finally had their beloved son back.

-¤-

 


End file.
